I decided that in honor of being a whole month natural—I’d post a little bit about why I decided to do it and my overall experience with my hair.
Once Upon A Time I Was Natural
So if I go back to my earliest memory of when I actually acknowledged the hair on my head it had to have been at age 10 or 11. My mom use to braid all of my siblings hair so I was always use to the scalp pinching winces, and braids so tight you wondered if your mom was just always angry. At least that was my experience.
All I remember was it was somewhat of a torturous process getting my hair braided. But god , looking back when I think of the state of my hair back then, it was so healthy and full and natural! It wasn’t until my mom pulled out her hot comb she brought all the way from Eritrea— that I experienced straight hair. And I hadn’t looked back for years. Literally.
My Experience In The New “Normal”
I grew up in a predominantly Mexican and Vietnamese community so I rarely saw other girls with my hair texture and so I got use to straightening my hair. There were maybe a handful of Caucasian people that I knew, but in this scenario the factor was really everyone else versus someone like me. As a kid that can be confusing. The few occasions that I did see other girls like me, their hair texture varied as well. (If you know, you know.) I think at that age I hated my hair and desperately looked at girls with luscious silky hair in total envy. And so did my sister. We grew up completely envious and not really understanding our hair at all. We both dealt with the comments about our hair so that was the same. But I was much more determined about keeping my hair straight, than my sister was.
Of course I know now that there were many other factors that contributed to the way that I would experience being someone with my hair or even my skin tone at times. I’m actually incredibly thankful that the most important thing I learned was how wrong society can get it some times. Society…they have issues and they teach it and a lot of the times that’s projected on kids. So we never get the chance to realize that actually black people are born with soft luscious curls and yes maybe your hair changes and it can take a little bit of work—but the end result that comes with realizing your hair’s capability in its natural state would’ve been worth it. It may have been different, but that word is so relative. Doesn’t quite describe how amazing different is.
Back To My Natural Again
If I’m being honest I thought it would be years before I would decide to go natural again, because that would require me to hide out maybe or disappear for a little bit to some private island (on this island I’m very rich). But no, I straightened my hair a month ago like I would always do once a week- and I thought again…I hate my hair. At that point my breakage was daily, I had dyed my hair so often and used heat once a week, not to mention my hair shed like a beast and nothing looked good anymore. If it wasn’t for the advent of YouTube or Instagram, I’d never learn that wow—black hair growth and goal worthy curly hair was very much a real thing and I missed out for so many years! Straight is just boring to me now. I want to see what this hair can do!
It took me a while to get here and learning to care for my hair is going to take time, but sometimes there is clarity in being fed up and when you have nothing to lose in your already damaged head of hair—just let your hair be and show it some love, because it’s always really just needed that. So I’m glad my experience hating my hair for so long finally showed me that I needed to learn how to love it.
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