To Travel or To Settle Down?
Why exactly do you have to choose between traveling and settling down? I mean what kind of question is that anyway, and who the hell is giving you the choice?
When I was in highschool all I ever dreamed about was going somewhere. I was born and raised in California and up until 18 years old, Southern California was all I knew. Actually experienced is a better word. I mean I sort of grew up in the age of technology so anything I wanted to know or learn about (somewhere foreign) was always at my fingertips.
If it wasn’t information I was seeking online then it was on TV or pictures in a magazine that I cut out and plastered on my wall. Not kidding, I actually had created a collage of all the places I wanted to travel to unbeknownst to myself that I was making a vision board for the future. I didn’t even hit a quarter of a century before I made it to all those places either, which I consider to be an accomplishment. So why is it that the idea of having to choose between traveling or settling down, seems so antiquated to me? Is that even a valid question anymore? Doesn’t seem like it. So why do people continue to guilt trip others over it?
There’s A Whole World Out There
It was junior year of highschool and I was in a “college preparedness” program. The acronym for the program was one I can’t quite remember at the moment, but I can tell you that the main purpose of the program was to get students who intended to go to college, ready. We occasionally had some guest speakers, but I distinctly remember this particular time when the guest speaker was someone who was actually in college. Basically the gist of the message she was trying to relay was ‘yes there is more beyond highschool and you can even travel when you get to go to a University!’ At least that’s the only message I needed to receive at the time. That was enough for me. Going to a university was exactly how I was going to be able to travel. And what do you know, senior year at the University of California Santa Cruz my dreams came true. That was the best year ever because that was when I was left for my last semester abroad in Italy. I haven’t stopped traveling since!
Albeit, I was actually enjoying the college life a little too much with my friends and completely forgot about studying abroad until the last semester of Junior year when it dawned on me that I had one year left and if I wanted to study abroad I was going to have to apply ASAP for the following year Spring semester! The timing was absolutely perfect, I had survived on my own in Northern California and now I was going to travel to London alone for a few days before meeting up with my program in Italy.
Give Me Liberty Or Give Me My Passport
This independent chic was living the dream. If you could only see the look on my face when I made it to my hotel in central London. It was pure unadulterated happiness! There was no fear whatsoever, and maybe there should’ve been now that I think about it, but I’ve always been so use to doing things on my own that being able to get on a plane with my passport in hand…just felt right. It felt like the right time. The right everything.
Traveling in Europe was wonderful. The weekends made for amazing opportunities to visit another city or country. And if you didn’t already know, Skyscanner.com was the best place to look for cheap flights back then which is now 10 years ago and it’s still the only place I look for last minute and cheap flights. I mean we really were able to travel for cheap back then and I do have to say that I still feel like even today I still can travel for cheap for the most part. And might I add that is not by staying in a hostel! No thank you those days are soooo done. I’m at an adult with actual taste now!
Spiritual Airlines
Having experienced life as a local for the several months that I lived in Italy changed everything about the way I viewed travel. I made a vow to myself that I wasn’t going to be one of those people that always talked about their study abroad, but who never made it back on a plane. I wasn’t going to spend the next 30 years working only to save up a retirement fund to travel. In my opinion incorporating travel in my life was necessary. It was sort of like a soul-enriching drug, but also it felt like soul-maintenance. Over the years it’s kept me passionate, it’s opened me up to new experiences and people and then sent me back home refreshed ready to take on the world again with a new positive outlook. It was more than just vacation or a break. It was my way of validating that even on the days where I felt small and without direction, all I needed was a little fire in my lioness heart for my soul to begin again.
Some people think that it can be a form of escapism to always get on a plane and go and I can understand that. At times it definitely is, but for a lot of people like myself it’s not about running away from, but more like running back to yourself. Running back to the younger version of yourself that always looked forward with such verve and such passion. It really is about finding yourself as cliché as that sounds. There isn’t anyone that knows what sparks a fire in your belly like you do so it’s understandable that you’ll come across people who don’t see it this way. But that’s also true about any of your passions or goals. You can’t really expect other people to understand what’s in your own heart and mind or what you see through your eyes. And you can’t expect people to understand the importance of traveling. In fact, it’s 2020 and it’s actually quite strange to come across people my age that aren’t always hopping on plane and going somewhere.
Objecting or Projecting
And still, while sitting in front of my boss for an annual employee evaluation—imagine my mild shock when discussing my personal goals outside of work, she mentions something to the effect of ‘I know that travel is your first priority above everything else.’ What I heard was that unlike other people my age, I wasn’t planning on settling down anytime soon and it wasn’t my top priority. It made me feel like I chose one thing over another when I didn’t realize I had to. I mean I’m sort of in a different place in my life now where I want more than just traveling at this point, and to be fair. I am fairly private about my goals and plans for myself outside of the workplace so I can’t expect them to know the future I’ve been working on to build for myself when my 9-5 is up. But, then again I never even looked at travel as ever being something that was getting in the way of any of my plans. We’re talking one to two weeks out of the 52 I spend working away. I’m not exactly spend half the year trotting about the globe. Although that doesn’t sound half bad. But no. Hello people, I’m a well balanced individual with responsibilities.
I mean I would say it’s never kept me from doing anything ever. Having relationships, work, responsibility not even financially. I can attest to the fact that I think I spend less on travel (even abroad) in a year than the average Apple customer does on new product. Because I know how to travel and also because I prefer a plane ticket to the latest gadget. What I’m trying to say is everyone spends the big dollars on something different so it’s all relative. I’ve never gone broke traveling or for travel and I never will. When I think of marriage and family life I imagine that it would still be important to travel with my partner and future kids. Travel isn’t the whole reason for my being, but it does give my being reason everytime and in an inexplicable way. And look here I am trying to justify something that doesn’t need justification.
So I guess what this blog post was about is that when something is a part of your life and has its place in your life as a necessity, you make room for it within reason. Everything must be within reason, the work-life balance, your financial spending, your personal wellness as an individual. Be wise, make plans that make sense to your current situation, continue doing things that give you energy and fuels your passion. And know that all of the things that you truly want and need have a place in your life because you are already actively choosing to make room for them. Traveling feels like one of those things for me. It’s got its place in my life and I do it when I can. Hopefully that doesn’t change, and at the moment I can’t see why it ever would. If people continue to throw that in your face for whatever reason, it may actually be a projection rather than an objection. Who doesn’t want to travel anyway? Encourage them to!
Follow me on some of my travels here! Also be sure to check out blogger Globe Beyond Yourself she’ll make you want to hop on a plane dolo ya dig.